you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
