I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
