i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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