I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
