Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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