He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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