maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
