Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
