You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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