I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
