Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize