Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
