obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
