my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
