Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
