She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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