try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize