My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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