waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
