Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
