My nipple is on Facebook.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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