What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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