she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
