I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
