Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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