but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
