fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
