That's intense
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
