I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
