its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
