"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
