idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
