I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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