Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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