I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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