worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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