I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize