M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
