Will you blow on my dice?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
