what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We're too hungover to prance.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
