sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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