Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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