Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
