I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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