sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
