It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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