Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
