I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
