it's like iHOP with fire
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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