C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
