Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
