I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
