and next time when you feel me up, do it right
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
