can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize