I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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