This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
