All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize