this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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