first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
